Get a f****** sense of humour, Heathrow Hub!

There are times when one finds cause to depart from the best endeavours of professional conduct and etiquette and yesterday, I’m afraid, was one of those.

Heathrow Hub's plans are set to be dismissed by the Parish as a "non-starter" tonight.

Heathrow Hub claimed its plans would “just clip” the Poyle Industrial Estate.  If that’s clipped, I’d hate to get a haircut from these guys.

A personal view on a shabby incident by Heathrow Hub …

The amiable “Jock” Lowe may have done his best to front the ‘back of fag packet’ campaign that is the Heathrow Hub. Yours truly met him with Harmondsworth residents. Damn! I even liked the guy and half believed him. But he didn’t follow through on his promise to engage with residents, still hasn’t provided anywhere near the detail on his proposals that people whose homes he would destroy have a perfectly reasonable right to demand, and quickly left us to the mercy of his less than convincing PR wonks and their scripts.

And yesterday’s blatant attempt to silence alternative viewpoints by spin company Maitland didn’t warrant a polite discourse.

Colnbrook may not actually be divorcing Slough, but Maitland's plush new offices at 125 Shaftesbury Avenue definitely make it divorced from reality.

Colnbrook may not actually be divorcing Slough, but Maitland’s plush new offices at 125 Shaftesbury Avenue definitely make it divorced from reality.

As Maitland’s Ms X’s voice dropped an octave and her manner became less “I wonder if you could help me?” and more “I eat bugs like you for breakfast” I realised we were unlikely to ever see eye to eye on this issue.

(Even if, as perhaps will be the case, we find ourselves one day reacquainted in caverns of fire suffering eternal damnation, I still doubt it could ever happen).

However I think I spoke on behalf of most of Colnbrook when I told her that we don’t give a f*** what she or Heathrow Hub thinks.

Quite honestly, how dare they!


This website stands opposed to the devastation of a Third Runway could inflict on residents’ lives. But if the powers that be decide to impose a Third Runway later this year, what is still missing is any real attempt to engage with residents, genuinely and openly.

A minority are already free to move and work somewhere else and for those the 25% above market value from some yet to be determine point might be seen as a little windfall. But until scheme developers start talking about offering proper compensation to give people the real choice over their lives that they currently do not have, and work with locals to agree real mitigations, the big bucks wasted with the likes of Maitland will be money down the drain and seen as nothing more than a cynical attempt to stifle those that matter most.

Nor … let’s get it on the record … do we give a f*** about offending the sensitivities of Heathrow Airport, Slough Borough Council, Grundon, Goodman, or any other conniving and revenue-obsessed enterprise that wants to inflict untold misery and anxiety “for the greater good” without making amends to the residents who pay the real price.

Ms X, darling, you might have worked on Boris Johnson’s mayoral campaign and organised events for Conservative HQ, but you’re living in a closeted bubble. Come and experience more of the real world. Come to Colnbrook, breathe our ‘fresh’ village air, listen (ahem) to the morning bird song and take a little whizz down our empty semi-rural lanes and then tell us again that we’re being unfair to you.

Wednesday's April Fool posts were, amazingly, read by a few thousand across this website and on Facebook. For a village website we're incredibly proud of that but are under no illusions that it's anything more than a mere drop in the ocean to the social media community discussing runway issues now.  They were, however, extensively retweeted by those not sufficently acquainted with the nuances of our community to realise the hoax.

But whether they get the spoof or not I sincerely hope it helps to undo just a fraction of the lies and misinformation spread by the current advocates of new runways both here and at Gatwick.

And lastly, Ms X, get a sense of humour. If you don’t you’re going to be burned out by the time Davies makes up his mind. We’re only just getting started.


September 2017: as she is no longer associated with Maitland, the name of the PR executive referred to above has been removed from this article.

Posted by | View Post | View Group
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Article
Rating: 3.9/5 (7 votes cast)
Get a f****** sense of humour, Heathrow Hub!, 3.9 out of 5 based on 7 ratings
Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel - .
How does this post make you feel?
  • Excited
  • Fascinated
  • Amused
  • Bored
  • Sad
  • Angry